Lila's Bubbe

Gertrude Meyers died today, after a brief illness. She was almost 88 years old, wife for more than 60 years to Lewis Meyers (who died in 1999); mother to Linda and Joe; grandmother to Stephanie, Josh, Sara, and Matt; great-grandmother to Julia, Abby, Rachel, Lily and Lila.




Unfortunately, of all her descendents, Lila knew her for the shortest time.




But in Los Angeles we had a great picture of Bubbe with Stephanie and Josh, and our respective families, on our refrigerator that Lila liked to look at and constantly review. When we visited Bubbe this summer, Lila knew exactly who she was. They hit it off immediately, as one can see from these pictures.




As hard as it is to lose a family member, Nana - as she instructed me to call her the first time we met - had a long life we could all only hope to emulate. She was healthy, happy, prosperous and loved.

She will be greatly missed and never forgotten.

"Better to be without logic than without feeling." --Charlotte Bronte

Note the small, red shoe Lila is grabbing in this photo with her left hand. It's a Christmas tree ornament that caught Lila's eye last night as I was inventorying Christmas decor. Note, too, that she has just removed her shoes.




I try to explain to her that it won't fit on her foot. She will hear none of this.




After another few minutes of struggle, she abandons her efforts.

Logic is the enemy of toddlerhood. Luckily, they hold no grudges.

One month out.

Thanksgiving marked our one month anniversary in Brooklyn, and so why not look back at our last social event in California, when Mary, Julie and Sarah had a little goodbye-BBQ in the backyard for us.




I think the first time I went to Mary's house for a swim and some poolside burgers, her nephew, Gabriel, at mere weeks old, was the entertainment for the afternoon. Last month, Gabriel was there with his family, and he's all the more entertaining now that he's 11, with the precocious vocabulary of a Miriam-Webster employee.




Luckily, Lila got one last play session in with her friends Sarah and Finn. Mary and Julie have cordoned off the porch above the pool and created a baby-safe play area, with one of the most enviable views in Los Angeles. Mary and Julie were a big part of the incentive to move to out West, and looking at these pictures it's easy to remember what we liked about living there.




I do wonder what Lila will be able to hold in her mind of her first home. I was born in Los Angeles myself, and my parents moved to the East Coast when I was exactly two-and-a-half. All I can remember now is the view of the mountains from the backyard, the pet turtle, and a shag rug that tickled my feet. What is stored in permanent memory in her little tumbling snowball of a developing brain? Our crumbling apartment with its sweet and cozy backyard? The stairs she liked to climb at the nearby high school? Our favorite Mexican restaurant? The cupcake place down the street that Oprah made famous and forever swarmed by flying her jet in to pick up a dozen?




Or maybe it will be the day that she, Finn and Sarah smeared shaving cream everywhere, whooped and hollered, and swam with noodles.

Josh's Favorite Photo

This photo makes Josh laugh every time he looks at it.

Lila is one of the small percentage of children who hates car and plane travel, so for the flight from LA we plied her with Elmo DVD's. However, they don't make headphones small enough, so we had to pad them with a rolled up t-shirt.


(Her concentration was not broken by our photo opportunity.)

Overheard at a Brooklyn playground:

"Jesus, you play nice with Jasper and Django."

(Jesus pronounced New Testament-style, not Major League Baseball-style)

What we've been missing on the West Coast...

...among other things.

This little piggy moved to Brooklyn!

We are settling in to our new home, which Lila calls, "Lila's Special House". We walk down the street and she points to all the brownstones and says, "someone lives there, and there, and there, and there, and there...."

We will be up and running soon with reports from the hood.

Happy Belated New Year!

This is from Rosh Hoshanah.



Lila is still talking about touching the torah. Made quite the impression.

The Book of Lila.

If "Belle of the Ball" wasn't a mutually exclusive concept to Yom Kippur, it would have been the phrase on the tip of everyone's tongue at the Leo Baeck temple for chilldren's services on last Monday afternoon.




Lila, who was still breathing the giddy fumes from Rosh Hoshanah services the week before (touching the torah, hearing the shofar, and seeing a rabbi dressed up and acting like a silly king), came to the more somber Yom Kippur services in high spirits.




And Yom Kippur did not disappoint. Once again there was dancing, a rabbi in costume, and some other kids to scream with. From an entertainment perspective (which is hardly the point, I know) children's services are the way to go.




People were stopping us left and right to comment on Lila's adorable dress, a birthday gift from Aunt Catherine and Uncle Thom. It was a real show stopper. One woman in our aisle actually said, "I'm sorry, I know I sound like a crazy person because this is the third time I'm saying it, but that is the cutest little girl I have ever seen!"




(At some point, we hope to display some modesty vis a vis Lila. Maybe next week.)

F.O.L.'s, Part II

("Can I go now?")



Name: The Bunnybear Family
Genus: Species-confused bears in bunny costumes
SFX: None
Origin: Baby Bunnybear: Unknown
Origin: Mommy & Daddy Bunnybear: purchased by Mommy and Daddy, with tears in their eyes
Distinguishing Characteristics: Don't get me started. The Bunnybears have mythological status in our house.



Name: Squishy Bear
Genus: Bear, possibly Polar Bear
SFX: None
Origin: Unknown
Distinguishing Characteristics: Remarkable squishiness



Name: Rattley Bear
Genus: Bear
SFX: Rattle
Origin: Unknown
Distinguishing Characteristics: Buttoned up; anti-social.



Name: Sweetie Baby
Genus: Homo Sapien
SFX: None
Origin: Josh's former camper, Jesse, whose parents own a toy store
Distinguishing Characteristics: Has multiple wardrobes, including 2 sets of pajamas. Can suck her thumb. According to Lila, suffers frequent injuries, which are quickly remedied by kisses. "Baby fall down! [Kiss!] Awww! Baby all better!"



(Friends!)

F.O.L.'s

(The A Team)



Name: Lilac Pete
Genus: Hippo, possibly
SFX: None
Origin: Gift from Bill & Beth
Distinguishing Characteristics: Frequent stroller companion, first 6 months. Now spends most of time in crib, facilitating naps. Rumored to be the inspiration for a character of the same name on an upcoming TV animation pilot (seriously!).



Name: Pinky
Genus: Bear
SFX: Rattle
Origin: Gift from Debi D.
Distinguishing Characteristics: "B-List" bear, resorted to only when Bunnybear cannot be located.



Name: Dr. Meow
Genus: Cat
SFX: None
Origin: Giveaway pile at the office
Distinguishing Characteristics: Named after beloved acupuncturist, Dr. Liao. Needy crib personality - insists on being first and last to kiss Lila at bedtime.



Name: Ducky
Genus: Duck
SFX: None
Origin: Gift from Cousin Andy and Liz
Distinguishing Characteristics: Particularly soft and pliable. Never leaves crib.



Name: Lamby
Genus: Cat
SFX: Rattle
Origin: Unknown
Distinguishing Characteristics: Has permanent smudge on face, so always looks like he needs a run through the washing machine. Named "Lamby" because he looks like a lamb. Lila likes to whisper secrets in her ear.

TO BE CONTINUED.

Our little autocrat.

A two year old child is a uniquely sticky wicket, caught between exponential brain development and a short fuse for whatever she can't yet grasp. Case in point: She is old enough to know that her birthday is a special day where we celebrate her, but because she doesn't understand the passage of time, there is no convincing her that it is over.




Every day since last Thursday, she demands to know where her presents are, and when her cake will be served. Not in a petulant, spoiled way, just in that stubbornly plaintive toddler way. Toddlers like their routines, and presents and cake are a a much more fun routine than brushing teeth and putting toys away.




So every package, from a grocery bag, to a moving box, is presumed to be an unopened present. "This is for Lila?" she asks about everything with a top on it.




And for Rosh Hoshanah on both Friday and Saturday night we lit candles before dinner, and as we did, Lila would just chirp in the background, "cake? Cake? Cake for Lila?"




Which is not to say that she isn't thrilled with her birthday booty. New books, lots of pretend picnic food, her new birthday sweater, her doll stroller - all these are mentioned constantly and in are in heavy playing rotation. It's just funny to have a person who is more and more verbally competent by the day, but has no tolerance for logic or reasoning.

If she keeps this up, she could be running the country by Christmas.

Happy Birthday, Lila Quinn!

It was two years ago this morning, 16 days after her due date, 36 hours after checking into the hospital, following two doses of Cytotec, an entire bag of Pitocin, and a too-late-and-not-that-effective epidural, that I managed to push our 9 lb. 3 oz. baby out.

"Ouch" doesn't even begin to cover it.




The first thing the doctor said was, "Look at those eyelashes!"




The second thing the doctor said was, "She may be a nine pound baby, but that's a ten pounder's head!"




I remember that we decided to name her before we left the delivery room. We had been leaning toward Ellie, but when it came time to choose, we both agreed on Lila Quinn. It would be months before I could say her name without feeling my eyes well up at the thought of that moment.




She was born around 9 AM, and that night I sent Josh home to sleep, with Lila next to me. When she awoke at 3 AM, I couldn't calm her. In retrospect, it seemed like she didn't STOP crying until she was four months old.

But after she was great.




And now we've got this little person in our lives who says new little things every day like, "I'm happy!" and "I like cake!"




So today, to celebrate, we all had cake.

And we are all very, very happy.

The inner workings of family life.

Lila does not like to have her teeth brushed. They would have rotted and fallen out by now were it not for Josh's feverish dedication to her dental hygene, that, to be perfectly honest, needs to be monitored, lest it make the tiny leap into unbridled mania.





The nightly task is replete with systems (daddy brushes daddy's teeth; Lila brushes Lila's teeth; Lila brushes daddy's teeth, and finally, the one that really counts, daddy brushes Lila's teeth), rituals (The oft-repeated mantra, so sacred that it could become Passover's fifth question: "Lila, when do we brush our teeth?" "Every! Night!"), pleading ("Just a little bit more! Just...a...little...bit...more...and...Done!") and endless praise ("Hooray! Hooray for Lila! Hooray for Lila's squeaky clean incisors!").




And though I rib him for it, Josh's consist and measured assurances are the very model of good parenting, in my mind. The two of them battling it out in the bathroom every night is a microcosm of the constant negotiations upon which parenting is based. Push too far and you breed resentment and fear. Back off too quickly and you hand over the reins. It's reassuring to see the cogs of progress so plainly at work.

And I won't go anywhere near the task, myself, so...someone's got to do it.