La Vida Familia: Halloween

(From the Awkward Family Outing playbook, pg 4)

For Lila’s first Halloween, Aida and her two nanny friends decided to throw their favorite babies a costume party in the park. One of the many things that proved to Christine and me that we were meant to be married is our mutual hatred of costumes; both of us tried to avoid Halloween at all costs at a very young age, and have spent all of our adult Halloweens cowering in our apartments, terrified to answer our phone for fear that there will be someone on the end who will invite us somewhere that involves a mask.

But that doesn’t mean we’re not above dressing up our daughter. We figure that soon enough genetics will have their way and she’ll start hiding on October 31, too. But until free will kicks in, we’ll let her get in the holiday spirit. So we bought her a turtle costume and looked forward to the big day…until Aida told us that it would really be nice if we got into the spirit and got dressed up, too.

("I'm pretty sure this kitty cat is also my mommy.")

Any other time, we’d have instantly thought of an important “appointment” we had that day. But daughter trumps grouchiness. Christine opted for the tried and true cat costume, running to fight the crowds at Party City the day before the party (when we seem to do our best work). I figured I could do one of two things: not dress up and be a wet blanket, or put a bedspread over my head and spray myself with a hose and go as a Wet Blanket. At the last minute, I searched the apartment for anything costume-like and found the pith helmet that I was given to pose in for a Golf magazine article I did earlier this year. I put on some cargo shorts, a khaki-colored shirt, and some work boots, tucked some of Lila’s stuffed animals in my pockets, and went as a zookeeper. The pith helmet was key. Once it came off, I just looked like a poorly dressed plushie fetishist.

Off we went to the party, leaving Lila’s costume in the trunk since the padding in her “shell” would be uncomfortable for the car. We pulled up to the park, saw the orange and black balloons in the distance, and wrestled Lila into her costume in the parking lot. It became instantly clear that Lila is very much her parents’ child. Look, if you will, at the following pictures and you will see a completely disinterested and mildly disgruntled baby. “Get it?” she seems to say. “I’m a turtle. Very cute, very cute. Now when can we end this charade?”

("So is this a holiday where we celebrate turtles? Because I'm still not clear on why I'm dressed this way.")

You may also notice something else in the pictures. None of the other parents are in costumes. In fact, Eva, one of the other nannies, wasn’t either. Aida had a belly-dancer outfit on, but was cold and wrapped a coat around herself so she was costumed in theory only. As we made the long, slow walk toward the group in their street clothes, we felt like those people in your workplace who show up as Paris Hilton or Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes and run around the office all day chastising you for having no holiday spirit…when in reality we are just the opposite. So off came the pith helmet, because I’d rather be thought of as a poorly dressed deviant than a ham. Christine made the cat thing work all day, because she is a better person than I.

(As close to a full blown smile as Lila got all day, in the arms of Aida)

Back to Lila, however: she endured the ignominy of her turtle punishment all day like a champ. Even we, who think she is the most beautiful baby in the world, have to admit that perhaps “turtle” wasn’t the way to go, and for that we apologize to her. Her friend Avery, however, was the cutest little sheep you’ve ever seen, while pal Lola was a delightful fairy.

(The adorableness quotient is quadrupled when you realize Avery is wearing her lamb costume backwards)

We quickly forgot our costume woes, however, when Aida’s friend Pilar unveiled the most glorious Mexican feast. Home-cooked enchiladas with mole, tostadas, vegetable salads, each one better than the next. I’d be willing to dress up as the back end of a horse with Tom Sizemore up front for a little more of that.

All in all, costumes be damned, it was a wonderful day. Lila even got to swing at her first piñata, though we think the turtle thing affected her joy when sitting amidst the spoils. That and the fact that she has no idea what a Skittle is, nor would we give her any. Many thanks to Aida, Pilar, and Eva!